Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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