Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
