therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Farmville is her only friend.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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