all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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