big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
