Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just google imaged poop.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
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yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
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hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox