What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.