Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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