I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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