You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
