I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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