He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
