To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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