i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
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I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
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Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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