I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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