Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
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Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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