we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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