She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize