You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
