just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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