Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
