You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
