I CAN MOONWALK!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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