I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
