WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
