1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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