i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
