so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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