I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
