New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
