any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He? As in you personified your dick?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
