: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
