guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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