im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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