She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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