Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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