woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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