Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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