Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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