I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
