i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
In America we eat man semen.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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