I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
