redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
