i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
