just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
