On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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