i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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