I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize