i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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