Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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