It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
