it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize