Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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