Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
