The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
