i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I need moral support for this bender
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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