I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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