You made me cry and you don't even care
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
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