I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
